Tell Me A Lie

Well once I was persuaded
To open up my head,
I told them how it was
And went and got it wrong instead,
I said would you believe me
If you only knew
I'd been stealing everything,
This conversation's through!

And the boy cried hang him at three,
I saw him on the front page
Laughing at me,
He worked in a fairground
In a tall hat,
He's a liar, he's a liar,
And a good one at that.
Say what you wanna,
Say what you will,
Write your number on my telephone bill,
Walk like a monkey, kick like a mule,
I could be your beggar
But I'd rather be just as cruel!

So I told them all I could
But what could they expect?
I lost my sense of smell
And I gained my self respect,
They told me I was curious,
I told them they were slow,
They asked me where I get this stuff,
I told them I don't know!

And the boy cried whoopi de dee,
There's a woman with a mustache
Who wont let me be,
She was born on a Monday,
She's a hundred and four,
She's a liar, she's a liar,
And a little bit more,
Say what you wanna,
Say what you will,
Write your number on my telephone bill,
Walk like a monkey, kick like a mule,
I could be your beggar
But I'd rather be just as cruel!