Losers, Boozers, and Heroes

Losers, boozer, and heroes
Now that's what I call outlaws
'cuz we lie in our own puke
Puke of our own makings
Shakin' bake it
Makin' bacon bits
Ten gallons worth for sure
If we're not drowned in it
A sixpack a day is all I ask
(And make it Bud if that's all right)
If I can't get that then life's not worth living
And livin's not worth livin' without life
A Wild Turkey in the hand is worth a sixpack of Busch
The way I mix they'll never say
"It's the water"
She likes her brew, it's true
She got a big old tush
So I'm leavin' you, you'll see
Maybe I ought'r

She doesn't say much
She just pours my drinks
She doesn't care what the good Lord thinks
'til she's had a few
And then a few more, too
'til she's holier than thou
(I guess that means you)
Ten lonely nights without you
And a five day follow up
You can't keep me here one minute longer
(It's closin' time mah friend)
Mean n'mad n'worse'n he ever was
(Oh teardrop)
They didn't fix him proper
If them Schick fellows know'd their razors right
They' knew'd not to spare the strop

Don't throw out the bourbon with the branch water
Don't treat old man Forester that way
The charcoal filter washin' our sins away
My Elvis decanter'll be worth somethin' some day
Losers, boozer, and heroes
Now that's what I call outlaws
Waylon n' Willie n' me n' Billy C.
Oh, Billy Beer is good enough for me
Good enough for me and mah Billy C.
Oh, Billy was a good jim-jim
When e died they named a beer for him
Billy Beer is good enough for me
Good enough for me and mah Billy C.

Now don't arrest mah pal Billy he's a Carter 
And the Carter family's opry-upry standing
He's a losin', boozin' hero
He's as kickback as a snail darter
He's second in line, but heck,
He don't try no harder
If he goes extinct, he won't raise a stink
He'll still buy that sixpack o' brew
So when he dies his survivors can raise up a Pabst
To a good ol' boy, was a friend o' me n' you.