Saw a man in a bar with his hair like a lady

Saw a man in a bar with his hair like a lady
Bloody thorns ’round his ears like he was a crazy
He had holes in his hands and a cross for a spine
Crushed a berry in his Perrier and called it wine
He said, “There’s great sadness in life, but don’t sit there and blub:
Here’s some tickets for your friends to the Jesus Stag Night Club!”
I can’t remember where I was last night
Think I was hanging naked off a church spire
Tied by my ankles to a weathervane
Felt like I was Jesus on fire
Cuffed to the bumper of a big truck
I begged my dad (?) to take me to a strip bar
Drank kerosene slammers through my eyeballs
Drove myself home in a stolen car
Turn a bird upside down and it lies in your fingers like a dead man
When you throw it in the air it’s resurrected from your hand
We went to a motel, he showed me his Bible
I said, “Tell me the truth,” while he looked me in the eyeball
He said, “There’s great happiness in life but don’t just sit there in love:
Here’s some tickets for your friends to the Jesus Stag Night Club!”
I can’t remember where I was last night
Think I was getting on a night bus
Lyin’ on the laps of my good friends
Judas Priest and Lazarus
I’m getting married in the big bad morning
But it feels like I’m giving birth
I feel so happy I could scream
“This is my last few seconds on Earth”
Saw a man in the street lying on the floor beaten up
He had a fish finger sandwich and a yellow-handled (?) coffee cup
I bent down drunk and tried to pick him up
But when I turned around I could see…it was Jesus…
I can’t remember where I was last night
Think I was hanging on a church spire
Tied by my ankles to a weathervane
Felt like I was Jesus on fire
Cuffed to the bumper of a big truck
I begged my dad (?) to take me to a strip bar
Drank kerosene slammers through my eyeballs
Drove myself home in a stolen car
I can’t remember where I was last night
Think I was getting on a night bus
Lyin’ on the laps of my good friends
Judas Priest and Lazarus
I’m getting married in the big bad morning
But it feels like I’m giving birth
I feel so happy I could scream
“This is my last few seconds on Earth!”

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