Hope for the future

I'm just tired of staying here 
oppressed by time going by and growing old 
I'm just not smiling since too much time 
waiting to leave or to die 
and joy is gone weeping away cracks of time 
all this pain I embrace inside 
going up the river of time 
I'm waiting to become a child 
and I'll hold on in this dark noisy room 
and I'll clean up this fucked mind 
there's just too much darkness in my disease 
looking for happiness into the falling leaves 
I would smash this starkness with the hope for the future
encountering me in a sunny day 
"Hello how're you?" I would say 
all me shining inside 
like when I was a boy