FINALLY

Once upon a time there was a fine young man traveling the seven seas.
He was young, he was wild and sometimes a bit impatient, he was.
One day he met an old lady in a dark corner of a tavern.
She had an apple. "Eat this apple", she said, "eat this apple and you will get rid of all the problems you'll have with girls" and so he did.
He waited. He waited for the apple to take effect, but then he felt there was something terribly wrong.
He stumbled, he tried not to fall but the pain was unimaginable and then...AND THEN HIS DICK FELL OFF
Devastated and deprived of his manhood he lost the will to carry on.
But then, he heard an ancient legend about a mystic animal which was set to hold the cure for his problem.
The only thing he needed to do was, to touch the horn of the...GAUCIOUS MONOCERUS UNICORN
He instantly set sail, went to Moon Island, found the beast and after a long and furious battle, finally touched it's horn.The curing process fought on immediately, in fact, the growth was so immense that from that moment on he was no less than Three Legged Pirate.
He sailed back to the tavern, searched for the old lady and then...