Albert Hammond Bootleg

Dragging my guitar round maternity ward

I was in search of the umbilical chord

But it was all in vain so I jumped on a train

And when I reached my home the kids were on the patio

Looking quite upset, so I asked them what was wrong

And they said: “Beware, there’s an Albert Hammond bootleg in the house in there

An Albert Hammond bootleg in the house

Some man who introduced himself as Stanley Rous came in

And left this Albert Hammond bootleg in the house”



Talking to a girl on the south coast of France

She was on an 18-30 but I still took a chance

But on the last night ‘neath the stars of Marseilles

She said that Robin Askwith was funny



Oh god how I longed for a dangerous wave

So I could surf myself towards an early grave

I would rather talk to plankton than to dance with you

I hope your plane back home’s a DC10



Oh god how I longed for a dangerous wave

So I could surf myself towards an early grave

I would rather talk to plankton than to dance with you

I hope your plane back home’s a DC10



Oh-oh-oh oh-oh

Oh-oh-oh oh-oh

Oh-oh-oh oh-oh

Oh-oh-oh oh-oh

Oh-oh-oh oh-oh

Oh-oh-oh oh-oh

Oh-oh-oh oh-oh really



Out of pure curiosity I dug up Logie Baird

And I asked him what petrified forests see

To make them all so scared